I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
