That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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