my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
