Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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