He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
