Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
