the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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