woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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