Plan B is the new Plan A
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
