she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
