There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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