I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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