His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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