so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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