Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
