Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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