yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
