Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
