so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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