there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
