and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
