I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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