I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
