Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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