There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
