yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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