I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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