Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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