hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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