this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
