Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You smell like stripper and shame
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
