real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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