I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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