I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
