I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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