i think my mom watched the whole time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize