Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
