I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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