Don't you send me to vm
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
