I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
