My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We got so high we made milksteak
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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