Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
