Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize