we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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