I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
