I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
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