hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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