Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
oh god the rape fog is back!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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