How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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