Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
