actually, I'm a sock model
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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