The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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