You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
