I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
