I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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