Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
