I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
