The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
