we're chasing vodka with high fives
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
