at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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