Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
