he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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