we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize